What does it mean to live in right relationship?
At its core, it is about the quality of our connection—to ourselves, to others, to the natural world, and to life itself. It is about how we move through the world, how we speak, how we listen, how we offer care, and how we respond when life asks something of us.
Right relationship begins within. It asks us to become honest with ourselves, attentive to our inner world, and willing to meet even the hidden or rejected parts of ourselves with compassion rather than avoidance. The relationship we have with ourselves quietly shapes every other relationship in our lives. When we are in right relationship internally, our actions tend to become more aligned externally. Integrity deepens. Awareness grows. Our choices begin to reflect greater care, reciprocity, and presence.
More than 30 years ago, I was introduced to the concept of “living in right relationship” by Dr. Tom “Tomas” Pinkson, who became an important teacher and friend in my life. His work emphasized the importance of balance, sacred reciprocity, and recognizing our interconnectedness with one another and with the living world around us.
As his homepage reads:
"You are here for a reason, called in your own unique way to help shape-shift humanity's evolution toward a path of Balance, Health, and Sacred Reciprocity, recognizing your interconnection with all that has been, all that is, and all that will be." — Dr. Tom “Tomas” Pinkson
Years later, while studying ethnobotanicals and entheogens in Peru, I encountered the Quechua principle of Ayni, often translated as sacred reciprocity. Ayni is more than an idea—it is a way of relating to life. It reflects the understanding that giving and receiving exist in relationship with one another, and that harmony is sustained through mutual care and exchange. This way of seeing changes how we move through the world. It invites gratitude rather than entitlement. Participation rather than extraction. Reverence rather than disconnection.
Right relationship is not perfection. It is an ongoing practice. It is found in the willingness to repair after harm has occurred. In the humility to acknowledge when we are out of alignment. In the ability to listen deeply to ourselves and to others. In learning how to hold boundaries with clarity while remaining openhearted.
It also asks us to examine the relationship we have with our own wounds. Many of us spend years rejecting aspects of ourselves we deem unworthy, broken, ashamed, or difficult. Yet healing often begins when we stop abandoning those parts and begin relating to them differently—with curiosity, patience, honesty, and care.
The way we speak matters as well. Language shapes relationships. The words we direct toward ourselves and others carry weight, influence emotion, and affect the environments we create around us. Conscious communication becomes one of the subtle but important expressions of right relationship.Virtues such as honesty, humility, forgiveness, gratitude, and generosity also help support this way of being. Not as rigid moral ideals, but as lived practices that deepen connection and strengthen integrity over time.
At its heart, right relationship is a living practice—an ongoing willingness to move through life with greater awareness, reciprocity, and care.Perhaps that is the deeper invitation:
to remember our connection to ourselves, to one another, and to the world around us.To offer honestly.
To receive gratefully.
To walk gently.And to keep returning, again and again, to right relationship.
NOTE: Claudia Cuentas speaks beautifully about Ayni in her interview with Laura Dawn on The Psychedelic Leadership Podcast, episode 60.
"You are a sacred, worthy, luminous being. You are love and your love is for giving and receiving."
– Dr. Tom Pinkson
Written by Sergio Nikita Lialin
Sergio Lialin is the author of Healing the Modern Soul and a guide working at the intersection of psychedelic healing, psychology, spirituality, and human transformation.
For more than 30 years, his work has woven together Indigenous wisdom traditions from Latin America with contemporary approaches including Internal Family Systems (IFS), neuro-linguistic programming (NLP), somatic practice, breathwork, and integrative psychology.
Drawing from decades of study, mentorship, ceremony, and direct client work, Sergio has developed an approach that emphasizes not only profound experiences themselves, but the deeper process of preparation, integration, embodiment, and remembering what has always been within us. His work is grounded in the belief that healing is not about fixing what is broken, but reconnecting with the deeper intelligence of the human spirit.
In addition to working with individuals and couples, he mentors professionals exploring psychedelic-assisted therapy and speaks on the evolving relationship between consciousness, healing, science, and ancient wisdom.
Email: PsychedelicTherapyMentor@Proton.me
Mentorship training here: Psychedelic Therapy Coaching